Dealing with Ideal Grief

I am dealing with the process of grieving something that is very dear to me right now.

When I think of grief, I typically consider the kind of grief that occurs when someone loses a loved one, generally by death, but I am not grieving a certain person.

I am grieving the husband and children that I might never have.

I know that God’s plan for my life is to become a missionary and serve Him in a foreign country, and I was researching opportunities to go on a short term mission’s trip when I realized that many missionaries never marry, because they find no one who shares their passion and view. I began to cry, because growing up, my entire dream was to get married and have children.

Realizing that God might have a different plan for my life, I needed to grieve the loss of this lifelong dream.

This kind of grief is called ‘ideal grief’, because I am grieving something that could have been- should have been, in my eyes.

Many people suffer from ideal grief- women who have suffered miscarriages or are barren, some people who never marry, and children who never knew their parents.

I knew a woman who married a man with an extended family that refused to accept her, and she dealt with grief over the loss of the family she would never have.

Grief does not just occur in people who lose a loved one; basically everyone deals with it at some point in their lives. If you feel like you need someone to talk to about dealing with any type of grief, find a trusted grown up or counselor to help. How you feel isn’t weird or ¬†uncommon; it is natural, and you can always get help.

-itsajthoughts ‚̧


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